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The Memorial Services

After Trevor and Leland died, their mother moved forward with no consideration to their father. She planned and carried out the funeral and a memorial service for Trevor and Leland. The father’s family was threatened with violence if they attended either. Because of this, the news attended her memorial service held in the park in Gatesville. James and his family however did not attend this believing it to be neither the time or the place for a fight of any kind. Crystal and her family did however photograph this occasion to “memorialize” it.

To see the full sized images, you can visit Waiting on Justice: The Twins’ Story facebook page. https://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.177886255599998.57943.176941629027794&type=1

We chose not to write an article for Crystal’s memorial service because the pictures are worth a thousand words each. The last set of images was a drinking fest. The location is believed to be at the Cornett’s trailer home in Slater, TX but may have been at the hotel that the sheriff’s office paid for. She held her memorial service for Trevor and Leland at a park in Gatesville, TX on Tuesday, November 30, 2010, in the evening, just five days after their unfortunate deaths. None of the father’s family or friends attended.

After being threatened with bodily harm, James and his family held a seperate memorial service to ensure no problems arose.  There were no pictures taken during or after this service and it was attended by James’ family and friends in support of their loss and in memory of Trevor and Leland. James and Amanda held the memorial service on Sunday, December 5, 2010 at 2:00 PM so that friends and family both would be able to attend after their individual church services and would be able to come from out of town as well. Anyone was invited to attend and no one was threatened if they tried to show up or did show up.

Having gotten no closure from the funeral service thrown together without their input, James and Amanda opted to have their own memorial service. They hoped to give closure to themselves as well as the rest of the Coleman family.  They scheduled the services for Sunday, December 5, 2010 at 2 PM at Gospel Lighthouse Church in Marlin, TX.

Gospel Lighthouse Church was the church that Trevor and Leland were born into. James’ parents, his brother Frank’s family, and hisself attended this particular church on a regular basis. This same church gave Crystal and James a baby shower in November 2007 before the boys were born. And as newborns up until June 2008, they were brought off and on by James when Crystal decided she would get up and go.

There was a mixed crowd of family and friends. People attended from different churches in support of the Coleman family. There were people there that had never even gotten the chance to meet Trevor and Leland.

Pastor Paul Rawls opened the service by singing a medly of songs accompanied by his guitar. He sang ‘Jesus Loves the Little Children’, ‘Jesus Loves Me’, and ‘He’s still Working on Me’.

 

It was at this time that the pastor read the corrected obituary:

Trevor and Leland were born on November 30, 2007 and went to be with the Lord on November 25, 2010.

They are survived by father, James Coleman and step-mom, Amanda Coleman; sister, Lillyan Coleman; mother, Crystal Coleman; paternal grandparents, John and Linda Coleman; uncles, Larry Coleman and wife Molly; William Coleman and wife Laura; John Coleman and wife Brandy; Frank Coleman and wife Donna; Jeremy Church; Joseph Church; aunts, Carlisha Wiley; Demetria Wiley; great uncle Lewis Carrell; cousins, Fashia McIntosh and husband Tyrell; Xavier Farrar and girlfriend Monique; Rachel Coleman and boyfriend James; Christopher Coleman; Vanessa Coleman; Hailey Coleman; Angel Coleman; Jeff Andrews; Allie Andrews; Tyler Coleman; Latressa Underwood; second-cousins, Leo McIntosh; Khristian Farrar.

They are preceeded in death by paternal grandmother, Linda Coleman; maternal great aunt, Eva Carrell; three cousins and a second cousin.

 

And then went on to speak from Matthew 18v1-5:

At that time the disciples came to Jesus and asked, “Who is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven?”

He called a little child and had him stand among them. And he said: “I tell you the truth, unless you change and become like little children, you will never enter the kingdom of heaven. Therefore, whoever humbles himself like this child is the greatest in the kingdom of heaven. “And whoever welcomes a little child like this in my name welcomes me.

 

And Matthew 19v13-15:

Then little children were brought to Jesus for him to place his hands on them and pray for them. But the disciples rebuked those who brought them.

Jesus said, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.” When he had placed his hands on them, he went on from there.

 

The message was one of hope in Christ and the assurance that one day we will see Trevor and Leland again in heaven. The service ended in prayer for strength for the family and support for them as well from his church and friends.

 

At the front of the church was a trifold foam board with pictures. The pictures were spaced about the trifold board but the trifold board was not covered completely as it would be at other funerals/memorial services. James did not have access to many pictures and those that had access refused to provide even an electronic copy that James could print and use. Even still, some of the pictures were blurry and only used because it’s all they had. Everyone was asked to pass by the memorial table with the trifold foam board of pictures to pay their last respects.

 

As family members and friends done so, the song ‘Temporary Home’ by Carrie Underwood was played. A fitting song for their life as a whole. They had so many homes and all of them were temporary until their newest and permanent home in Heaven.

 

This is my temporary home

It’s not where I belong

Windows and rooms

That I’m passing through

This was just a stop

On the way to where I’m going

I’m not afraid because I know

This was my temporary home

 

There were no pictures taken. They did not light candles. Nor did they let balloons up into the sky. They did not eat or even have cake or any type of desert. There was much crying and no laughter. They did not smile and their heads all hung low. They thanked each other for having been there. And they stayed for quite some time. Some sat in front of the trifold board of pictures. Some stayed near the back. Others congregated near the middle. But still there were no pictures and there were no smiles. This was no celebration.

I can’t say for all but I know some did not find closure in this memorial service. Not because it wasn’t a nice service but rather because Trevor and Leland weren’t allowed to be laid to rest. The dead are supposed to be buried. A place in the ground with a stone as their marker. A place to go visit from time to time, flowers in hand and memories on your mind. You go to talk to them and in a way it helps you to feel better.

The Coleman family was denied that right and anything to do with that. Crystal kept their ashes and has refused every effort to bury their ashes. Instead, she tried to get James to pay for a special urn so that she can carry around their ashes with a picture of them. People would feel sorry for her that way. And meanwhile a family is left without any closure, no charges filed against the person responsible for their children’s deaths. And their children’s ashes still with the monster responsible.

 

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